I just read Marc's New Years Day post on leadership lessons he learned from his daughter Isabella.  It made me smile...partly because I have always believed that you can learn a lot from kids and animals if you just pay attention; and also because it made me think about lessons I've learned over the years working with groups and individuals, who by the way, were once kids themselves.

In thinking about this, I'm trying to draw some parallels to Marc's walk with Isabella.

People like to be in charge of their own destiny.  I believe people articulate what they want at times, but mostly when they sense some control over what it is they want, or when there is an environment that makes them believe that they have permission to do so.  Isabella could control what she wore.  In the grander scheme of the walk, she may not have sensed the ability to control her desired destination and decided to just follow.  How often do we go on a walk in the rain with the individuals and groups we work with?  And, how often do we realize soon enough that the pace is slowing before checking in or changing direction?  I think we let folks "come dressed" the way they want to begin the journey most of the time.  We engage them, at least initially, but often fail to pay real attention once the journey begins.  I'm thinking the pressure for deadlines and outcomes or our own need for control makes us lose sight of the tears and disengagement.

In thinking about my work, I realize that sometimes others ask us to go on walks and even have a destination in mind.  We cheerfully agree and if we're not careful, we end up in a place we shouldn't have gone.  We exert lots of energy, navigate the rocks and potholes on the path, and eventually end up at the predetermined destination.  The trip may not have even been extremely enjoyable but as long as we reached our destination, we both seem satisfied.  So often, we are asked for help and given our need to please, give others exactly what they ask for.  This makes me wonder how often we spend energy walking to the wrong places.

Reflecting on work I've been involved in over the past several months with one particular group, I realize even more, the importance of considering the desired destiny of others.  Several months ago, I was engaged to facilitate a retreat.  The requestor had a clear goal in mind, wanting to begin building a team in her area of responsibility.  We had an admirable plan!  The retreat went well and the requestor was very happy.  The team enjoyed the day and even said so, commenting on what they had learned.  We conducted the normal debrief of what worked and what they would have liked more of.  But what I realize now is that people "came dressed" with the desire to "go on the walk", but they had their own ideas about where we should go and how we should get there.  It is sad that they did not believe they could change the destination. The group was willilng to walk along for a while and they kept the pace throughout.  But because of the time it took to build the foundation, they left without a finalized task list, something that was critical to their need for detail and accomplishment.  They also left without confronting issues with each other, something that would surface later.  Not everyone sees building a foundation for relationships as real work so it was not the group's priority, even though they were willing to do the work.  It took the activities of the entire day before they believed they could have changed the destination.  Isabella would not have skipped home!

Weeks later, the requestor was still happy and the participants were using what they had learned about each other.  Everyone was still anxious to get on with the work and dealing with others. Relationships between two team members failed, and more work began.  This new work required going back to the foundations built in the retreat.  We were working to deliver some mandated outcomes.  This time, the desired outcome was all about the "soft stuff" and building a foundation.  Suddenly, the perception and energy level changed.  Now, all of the things we were trying to accomplish at the retreat became "important work."  It was clear that it had become the destination of choice.  The two worked diligently, accomplished the desired outcomes, created a healthy foundation, were determined to share their work with others, understood why the work was successful, and were committed to making it work.  They had turned a corner in their relationship.  The difference?  They really wanted to go th the place I was taking them.  They helped choose the path and they were controlling their own destiny.  And because of all of the previous work, they now believed that they could.

So Isabella, next time someone asks me to go on a walk, I will still make sure they "choose what they wear", will make sure they believe they can negotiate the destination, and I will stop more often to ask if we're going the right way!  I will also do everything in my power to make sure that they "skip all the way home!"  Thank you, Isabella for this reminder!

8:51:58 PM     comment []   Google It!  

I’ve been consumed of late with words that begin with ‘A’.  I feel particularly reflective on these words right now as I consider Annie Gort’s post today.  I’m especially struck by her willingness to demonstrate personal capacity to make these words real on this journey of Pursuing Perfection.

These are the words:  accountability; awareness; advocacy; authenticity; alignment; and action.  I see these words as points on a star.  Right now the star has six points, one for each word.  I’m certain that there are others and that the star will continue to expand in points and in dimension and depth to become a star that we are all willing to hitch our wagons to.

We all must be accountable.  We must take the responsibility to deal with those things that keep us from moving forward, even when that may be uncomfortable for ourselves and for others.  And I do believe, that part of this accountability includes our responsibility to suspend our judgments and confront our own assumptions so that we hear the real message(s).

Awareness or self-awareness, so well demonstrated by Annie, is critical.  We first must confront ourselves and reflect on those things that happen in our daily work that may cause us discomfort and build on what causes us joy.  This is the first step; to step back and really discover where we are, what our passions are, what we feel, sense, think, want, and are willing to do. 

Advocacy is essential too.  To me, this means not only partnering with others to work together and collaborate, but also to hold forth our expectations and the expectations of others in support of creating even more meaningful partnerships and encouraging team growth toward the same perfection that we want for our health care delivery system.

Authenticity has to become an expectation.  To expect it of self is minimal.  To expect it of others is ideal.  What a wonderful opportunity we have to practice this as we Pursue Perfection.  Annie has taken us to the edge of authenticity by becoming self-aware, advocating for a better team, being genuine and real, with good intent, and with willingness to take action. 

Alignment can be the result of Annie’s effort.  I’m thinking that alignment is my personal hot button right now.  If we fail at alignment, we fail to reach our dream.  Alignment comes out of all these other ‘A’ words (accountability, awareness, advocacy, authenticity, and action).  We create balance in people, in systems and processes, in structure, culture, and information and by building on our strengths.  We avoid the potholes that slow us down and cause ruts in the road that ultimately cause us to get stuck.

And finally, Action gets us to our end.  We create intent to do, to make things better, to learn from our assumptions, to accept the real meaning of accountability, awareness, advocacy, authenticity, and alignment and to create the new paradigm for our new future in health care. 

These words may get us started.  We’ll discover more as we proceed.  We may even create new words.  But we will be even more successful if we add the seventh word ALL meaning it takes everyone to make it happen!

8:54:41 PM     comment []   Google It!  

Cindie Becker has the following text in a frame on her office wall.  We have been using it as a starting point in the last month or so to frame the culture that is desired inside different teams and meeting structures.  I’ve been thinking a lot about team agreements of late and have realized that we often go through the exercise of developing agreements with teams.  The problem is that all the teams end up with different rules and the way that these rules play out in cross-functional arenas rarely works.  I’ve decided to take a different approach as I think about helping groups define their agreements.  It has suddenly crossed my mind that we all must share some common statement of “The Rules of the Game” in order to work collaboratively from common understanding.  I wonder if coming to this initial agreement isn’t a first step in this ritual of setting agreements.  If we can all agree on a common statement, then our work in individual teams becomes defining those behavioral statements that we need to honor to get us there.  The following is the text that is found on Cindie’s wall.  It is called:

The Rules of the Game

Be willing to support our purpose, games, rules and goals. Speak supportively. Use verbal acknowledgements to express value for each other. Correct supportively.

Acknowledge whatever is being communicated as true for the speaker at that moment. Complete your agreements. Make only agreements that you are willing to – and intend to keep. Communicate any potential broken agreement at the first appropriate time. Clear up any broken agreement at the first appropriate opportunity.  If a problem arises, first utilize the system for corrections, then communicate the problem with alternative solutions to the person who can do something about it.

Be effective and efficient. Optimize every event. Make more with less. Have the willingness to win and to allow others to win. Focus on what works.  When in doubt, check feelings out.  Agree to disagree until reaching consensus. Tell the truth from a point of view of personal responsibility.

4:43:46 PM     comment []   Google It!